My life was pretty good til summer (June) 2011...

One night me, my sister, mam & dad were at my aunties house, it was the annual of my granddad's death, we had a lovely time...then when we got home my 13 year old self jumped out the taxi and ran to the door, like a twat, hah.

My mam was getting out the taxi and she suddenly fell, her ankle swelled up three or four times its size, i panicked and kept saying 'Call someone!'

My dad eventually called a taxi to take her to the hospital, she came home hours after she left the house, with crutches. She had sprained her ankle.

She was doing well, a few week after the accident. She was going to work and doing things like she would normally do, just at a slower pace! Then one night, she said to me she had a bit of a headache and that she was going to sleep for a bit...later than evening she suddenly woke up and said she couldn't breathe. I ran for her inhalers, and fetched my dad. I sat with her and held her hand while my dad rung an ambulance.

A paramedic came with an oxygen mask, and put it on her, he was asking loads of questions and i felt like shouting 'Stop asking questions and take her to the hospital!'. He came in a car, so he called for a ambulance van to come and pick her up.

Me and my sister stayed at home while my dad went to the hospital, later that night, i was in bed and my sister woke me up telling me i had to get dressed because we were going to the hospital.

It turned out that a blood clot from my mam's sprained ankle had went to her lungs and split into both of them. Her heart stopped four times, and she had two strokes while they were 'shocking' her.

She was put in ITU (intensive care unit) for a few weeks, then she was moved to general ward. She was doing okay, but she could only move her left arm, she couldn't speak, or eat. We weren't sure if she knew who we were!

The CPR gave her brain damage, but we were told she might be out by Christmas, then a couple of days later, we got told she only had a week...

I sat in my room for hours, crying. My heart sunk, I just felt so empty....We went to see her on the Friday morning before school, when I was about to leave I said 'See you soon, mam', which is one of the things I regret the most because on the Friday evening, she died in my dad's arms...

Since her death I have self-harmed, and I feel guilty for her death, I feel like it's my fault. My life is shit without my mam, and I feel like I'm rotting away inside.
RIP Mam, I'm so sorry.